(When a hospital and an entire community go Bat CRAZY.
As a Cooper’s hawk gets trapped in a huge netted area over the engineering building and is seen by many, it is the small innocent bait of the trap, a nervous quail, that has my sympathy, and tells the story most have never heard. Deaconess Midtown Hospital. ( 5 days of Hell.) Did anyone have concerns about the little guy.?
As I shiver in this cage of metal mesh, my life has taken a violent turn.
For a January night I see no reason why I am here on the top of this building shivering my feathers off hoping with all hope that this terrible hawk who has already attacked me once will not try it again.
Just 12 short hours earlier I was in a safe warm place with my owner.
How was I to know that I was to become the hero, who will pay the ultimate price, of the demise of what has spiraled out of control in a county wide phenomenon. Just because a stupid hawk gets caught under a net. My life is the one everyone is counting on to save his.
Cooper’s media adventure.
I heard the bald guy say that there is nearly 15,000 cubic yards of space under this canopy that was put in place to keep the hundreds of silly pigeons from invading this energy center roof.
But why am I, a 6 oz quail to be the sacrificial lamb, I mean quail. To rid this amazing hospital from a Public Relations Nightmare. Should that stupid bird I now call “Copper the idiot” somehow become injured or worse. Not once has anyone wondered about my safety. Not once, other than the bald guy (BG) giving me a bit of tasteless bird seed,and a cup of water I can hardly reach, give a flying Farse for my well being.
Sure the hawk may look majestic as it flies around the top of this netting, and yes he is somewhat rare compared to most birds. But when is the last time any of you have seen a darling quail strutting around this farming community, where once there were tens of thousands of us and today you will not find us anywhere. I came all the way from Illinois, for a measly $5 to help train another falconry hunter. But was given up immediately when the hospital was in a pickle. Speaking of pickles, I wish I had a sweet one now.
So as I understand it, Copper flew into an opening in the netting and then did not have the brains to fly back out. 2 days later many in the hospital saw he was trapped and suddenly social media made him out like he was the only bird in America who was in a bad place. Ah, have you guys not been noticing all the carcasses on the highways and byways of this land.
But nooooooooo, it’s not the hospital’s patients, or people caught in the elevator or the poor soul who jumped out the window that the world knows about, And They only think of me as a good meal for the idiot bird of prey.
It’s that stupid, narcissistic, smaller than most who gets all the love and adoration from the world ..Why, Why, why? Why him? “I think it’s a him/.” With a war raging in two counties, an economy that is a little pricey, a border that is more like an open gate border, and an election starting that may be the most critical in the history of our country. (by the way I think Joe was struggling also) The world is magnetized to this foolish beaker(the hawk) that I truly believe knows how to get out but instead wants his 5 days of fame.
So tonight I shake and shiver not knowing my fate. Tonight with nothing more than a couple old leaves to hide me do I sit and ponder my life. Will anyone care? Will the break of dawn see me alive, will I be frozen to the floor of this cage, will my head be gone in the mouth of an idiot, or will a savior come and release me from this hell on earth.
As minutes drag on to hours, my only resolve is the fact that I can see my nemesis perched on the metal ladder. Sleeping, sleeping and snoring. As he dreams of a sunrise where he figures out how to invade my space and devour me like a bowl of cereal.
6 hour later
So now the day is upon me and luckily I’m still alive. What little food is here is wet and Soggy. It’s cold and windy, and I’m alone except for my exterminator. What in the world did I do in my past flying days to deserve such a predicament? But wait. I see BG again. Is he here to free me, is he here to take me back to my owner who sold me for a few laughs with his friends? Wait What is that he carries? Oh my it looks like a friendly squirrel.
Is it possible, is it true? He realizes the hawk will not come down again for me. But maybe a tasty squirrel will set me free. Wow, oh wow. Thank you dear baldy, thank you for giving me back my life, to fly another day, then…
Wait, what are you doing? You’re actually just going to let this squirrel lay on top of my cage. Why, Why are you not releasing me. Why? , wait ,,, what the.. This squirrel you laid above me is ah… it’s freaking dead. It’s dead, newly dead, but it’s still dead. I can not be seeing this wake up wake up this has to be a nightmare.. He is walking away, it’s now been nearly 30 hours and he is walking away, leaving me here with a dead, smelly squirrel and a killing hawk. You fat Bast….!!! I hate you, and with all my power I will send my future generations to make your life a disaster. Have you ever seen the Alfred Hitcock movie The Birds? Well baby they are coming.
4 hours later.
I’m losing strength. I do not know how much longer I can last. The squirrel is still dead. The hawk is still above me, and my Girth is getting smaller. All I have left is a prayer.
“Dear Heavenly Eagle in the sky. I am but a simple quail who has nothing left to give. Please tell my family that I love them and I will keep them in my eternal thoughts. But I have but one life to give and it is now that I give it.
Thank you for a wonderful life. Ah except these last 36 hours. I must “…….
Wait,…… I hear something. There he is the bald one with another guy, walking my way. They are rambling about something. Holy cow he is actually reaching into my cage. Is this for real? Can it be? He has me. A bit too tight but he has me. Crap knowing him he will probably throw me to the talons of that bird. But no wait , he is putting me into the small cage he brought me in. Oh My OH my… Can this really be?
20 minutes later
BG is now holding me in a warm truck and trying to take a picture of me. I’m not going to smile, oh ok I ‘ll smile. Send me a copy please.
12 hours later
So here I am, safe and warm, the radio has just reported that a cooper’s hawk has been freed from captivity as 10s of millions of people cheer. Even CNN and Fox news are congratulating each other. The world is peaceful again. All are singing kum ba yah.
Free at last, free at last, good God Almighty we’re free at last.
Actually Reverend Martin Luther King said that first.
So this is the end of my story for now
But I have just one more question.
Who the hell named me Quill?
My name is Excalibur.
I am at peace
Option 2. A bit morbid
So here I am safe and sound in my owner warm kitchen
I’ve never been in here before, man it smells good
Corn, potatoes, gravy biscuits, marinade sauce. ah ah what am I doing on this plate…?…Ahhhhhhhhhh
The end. John M Schroeder